Building the Nest

The fans are dusted, the floor is sparkling, the drapes have been washed, and the cupboards have been cleaned for the first time in nearly 1 1/2 years (or at least they will be by the end of the week).  I have gotten the urge to clean, clean, clean and organize everything down to making sure each pen and pencil, sock, piece of paper, and spare household part has a place.  This is what they call NESTING!  I am about as busy as the squirrels in the front lawn who have been aggressively collecting all of the acorns from our oak tree for their hefty winter food supply.  I think my busy Bella has found her match for the next two weeks or so. 

This urge to get ready was only hastened when I went in for one of my prenatal check ups yesterday.  He sounded pretty confident that Baby would be arriving in September, NOT October, which has given me hope that their is light at the end of this tunnel.  Not that I dislike being pregnant, but there comes a time in the last trimester when pregnancy becomes not so fun.  It becomes a chore to do many of the things you used to do and it takes at least twice the energy to do them.  I can't even remember the last time I could see my feet while standing up or been able to properly shave my legs, instead now I get out of the bathtub just to find a large area that I missed.  Yes, I will be glad when this Baby Bumpkin finally arrives, as we are simply competing for space at this point.  There is a feeling deep within me that tells me that Baby will be coming sooner than later, call it a mother's intuition. 

It's crazy all of the changes that are happening within me, emotionally, physically, spiritually.  One cannot help but feel the glory of God when being pregnant.  You think about how it all began, and how when you found out about this little bean growing inside of you, that it was so hard to believe because this little life seemed so... small and so unimaginable.  You often forget your pregnant in the beginning, until the hormones begin to kick in.  The first three months is like having a mild case of the flu, months 4 through 6 are glorious and the time to truly appreciate being pregnant, months 7 through 9 is like soccer practice and your rib cage is the goalie. 

This little Baby, who was a baby from the very beginning (contrary to what some individuals say), has grown from a few cells to a soon to be 7 1/2 to 8lb, living, screaming, pooping infant in just a week or two.  The scary and most precious part is that YOU are the sole provider for this child.  This Baby will open their eyes and you'll be the first person they'll see, smell, touch, taste, feel.  Their blurry little eyes will spend the next few weeks focusing on you, they'll grow familiar with the smell of your skin and know that you are Mom (or Dad, Sister, Grandparent, etc.), they will feel the softness of your skin when you cuddle them and feel for your hand so they can hold it.  As I will be breastfeeding, I realize that I am this child's primary and only source of nutrition in the first few months, the best there is out there.  This Baby will be dependant on me and Daddy to live, and most everything they learn will derive from us as parents.  How scary and intimidating, and yet how precious. 

Their little eyes are watching you from birth until the day you die, just to see how you do things and how you react.  My 1 1/2 year old daughter is living, breathing proof.  Just today, she came and got my attention, pointed into the bathroom and crawled on the toilet.  She pointed out her toothbrush, and said "more" in sign language.  So we pulled out her toothbrush and I put a dab of children's toothpaste on there and let her have it, as we always do.  But today, she decided that she needed to spit out the toothpaste in her mouth in the sink, no doubt, just as she's seen her Mommy and Daddy do it, as we haven't taught her that part yet.  Or how just being polite to one another in this house has taught her when and how to say "thank you".  Again, not something we worked on, she just picked it up on her own.  I cannot express the great need for parents to see and understand how much their children look up to them and learn from them.  Their behavior, habits, and the way they see the world and interact with it derive primarily from YOU as parents.  Tim and I are starting to understand how important this is just by watching our little Bella act out our every move and say our every word.  We have to watch what we say or she just may say it back.  Eek!

It bothers me to see young children watching shows with foul language, sex and violence.  A child's innocence is so important and precious, and we hope to keep our children as innocently minded as long as possible.  Rather than wait for the world to dirty their minds with filth, we'd rather take it into our own hands and teach them at our own pace.  Wouldn't you rather your children learn about sex, death, and the ways of right and wrong through your ways of teaching rather than at the mercy of others?  There will come a time, many of them, when we will have to sit our children down and explain some hard stuff to them, but they won't be learning it by watching Jersey Shore, CSI, Sex and the City, etc.  Could you imagine if your child learned by watching Jersey Shore the proper ways to treat a man or a woman, or the value of themselves or others?  Also, for this very same reason, why we as a couple must show ourselves as a loving, respectful and happily married union, because that is what our children will see as "normal" and they will either strive to be like you (in a good circumstance) or settle (in a bad one), because afterall, the only way they know is your way.  These shows are only apprioriate (if at all) once they have a healthy understanding of what they are seeing in them. 

It's this whole pregnancy thing, and a child on the way (quite soon) that makes me reconsider how my husband and I parent and what choices we will make.  Everything down to the diapers you put on your child, who's coming to watch your toddler when you're in labor, whether or not you have enough energy in your reserve tank to clean that closet that's been bugging you for the past year, all the way down to thinking about your Baby's first date, their happy moments and sad ones, and their children's children all flow into your mind at once.  You are on OVERDRIVE the last month of pregnancy.  Their becomes a need to work out all of these things with your mind or you simply just can't relax.  So if your a husband with a pregnant wife reading this, cut her some slack.  It's by nature that we act like crazy hooligans the last few weeks; we simply just can't help it!

I haven't written anything for awhile, and I know that everything I write is quite opinionated.  But at least I know where I stand.  I know that my children are the most important thing to me in the whole world and I take raising them up right very seriously.  It's during this very pregnant moment that I feel such a great urge to get some of my thoughts and emotions out so that others who feel the same way know that they are not alone.  Because sometimes taking these stands do seperate you from the rest of the world and you just hope and pray that the decision you make are the right ones. 

My little girl, currently, is fussing, so nap time must be over.  Thank you for reading and until next time, hope you have a beautiful fall-like day!  Enjoy the warm weather while it lasts.